


Fifteen Minutes

by frapandfurious, squire



Series: Big Brothers AU [10]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Plane Crash, Presumed Dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-09-28 08:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10080836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frapandfurious/pseuds/frapandfurious, https://archiveofourown.org/users/squire/pseuds/squire
Summary: Hux and Ben have been married over a year now, and they're happiest they've ever been.Of course it couldn't last.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place in the Big Brothers verse created by frapandfurious and squire. Some details reference events taking place in previous parts, though this fic can be also read as stand-alone.

_ Wednesday, 8:29am _

 

Hux didn’t know what had woken him. Bad dream, most likely; he jolted to awareness shivering with that skewy sensation of an aborted fall, that kind of minute hollow dread one feels when their feet miss the last step down the staircase and stumble to regain their balance. He cracked his eyes open, checking the alarm clock. Apparently he had woken with a mere seconds left before his alarm would go off. He silenced it and rubbed at his eyes.

There was no use trying to parse what the dream was about, it was gone. All it left behind was a vague sick clench of his stomach and a stiff neck. Though the latter could be simple the effect of sleeping too long. Hux rolled over onto his back and stretched, wincing when his hand brushed the cold sheets on the other half of the bed.

Ben has been gone for two weeks now, taking the Knights of Ren to a prestigious dance competition in Europe. He’d been so excited when their application went through, and then pushed himself almost to the point of exhaustion working on the choreography. In the days leading up to the competition he’d basically lived in the studio, continuing to practice even after all of the other Knights left, going through every move over and over until it was perfected. He would come back home in the wee hours of the morning, bone-tired and heavy-limbed, and more often than not he would simply crash onto the living room couch and pass out there, not even making it to their bedroom.

Hux understood. It wasn’t as if this was something new when it came to him - when a grant application was due or some other deadline looming close, he would often not come home at all, foregoing sleep in favor of work. Though Ben had usually put a stop to that after the second day, making sure to replace the caffeine in Hux’s bloodstream with actual nutrients and drag him physically to bed. Now, in turn, Hux had taken to wake up earlier than usual to cook a proper breakfast before Ben had the chance to heave himself up and off the couch to stagger out of home and back to the studio. He was pleased to see that the lunch box he packed for Ben every morning was being brought back empty, almost licked clean, every night.

Then Ben and the dance group left. Hux’s inner clock didn’t seem to have got the memo. He continued to wake up early. A nice and cosy lie-in held no appeal when there wasn’t anyone to snuggle with. Hux would wake up, grab something he could eat on the go, and hurry to work to take his mind off the neat, clean and horribly empty flat.

But not today. Last night was the last one Hux went to bed alone. Ben was coming home today. The competition had ended the day before. The rest of the KOR had boarded a plane home as soon as the results were announced. Ben had to stay behind to look at some contracts and consider a couple of deals that had been offered to them. The possibility of Europe-wide tour suddenly didn’t look so completely off the table.

They’ve spent hours on the phone last night, Ben giddy with pride at the success they’ve had and tired from the long days spent waiting, dancing and negotiating. Hux was trying not to appear too eager, too dependent, not to let on how he just wanted the time to speed up and jump to the moment he’d have Ben back in his arms. But all it took was Ben’s soft, almost child-like honest sigh “I can’t wait to be back, sometimes I wake up at night and it’s just the hotel room and I feel like I can’t breathe because you’re not there,” and Hux felt the weight that was crushing his own ribcage lifting a little, easing in air that stung like a prodded wound - and he realised that in those past two weeks, he hasn’t been able to take a deep, carefree breath at all.

They’ve talked, each clinging to the sound of the other’s voice, until Hux’s glance happened to fall onto the clock and he realised, with a guilty start, that it’s way past two am Ben’s time, that Ben’s day was an absolute physical and emotional rollercoaster and that Ben had a flight the next day.

“Can’t wait to see your carrot top on the airport, pumpkin,” was the last he’d heard from Ben, words shaking a little with tired laugh and tinny with distance and bad signal. “There’s no colour in the world quite like yours, I swear the entire Germany looks like a patch of cauliflower...”

When Hux stopped giggling, he realized that all he could hear from the other end of the line was faint snoring. Smiling a little, he ended the call, pulled a package of deep-frozen pastry dough out of the freezer to leave it un-freeze overnight, tidied a little around the flat and went to bed with a book he’d wanted to finish - with Ben coming home next day, Hux doubted he’d have either the time or taste for reading.

That was yesterday. Hux had taken a day off work for today. He had it already planned down to the minute. Wake up late - the longer he’d sleep, the less time he’d have to spend waiting. Stock up the fridge and make a stop at Renegados to pick up a surprise for after dinner snack - Ben would never say no to nachos. Put on Ben’s apron and bake fresh cinnamon rolls for Ben to nibble on during the ride home from the airport. Drive out just after one pm - it could take close to three hours to get to Philly, considering the traffic. Meet Ben at the airport, try not to embarrass himself publicly by climbing him like a tree, herd him into the car, kidnap him home and not let go of him for ten hours straight, preferably. Hux grinned and shook his head at his own reflection in the mirror. He was being ridiculous. Seven years together, the last year of that married and he was still so in love that he’d swear he could see little specks of sunshine at the periphery of his vision every time he looked at Ben.

Ridiculous, that’s what he was. He even missed navigating through the minefield of Ben’s discarded shoes in the hallway. Ben has never learned to put them away into the shoe rack, leaving them exactly where they happened to fall off his feet, and Hux had been sometimes tempted to pick them up and throw them - into the garbage can, onto Ben’s head, anything. It wouldn't have worked the intended way though, so he never did.

He thought, in those first confused days after Ben went overseas, that he would enjoy getting the flat back into shape, having it exactly the way he liked. He was wrong. Maintaining order for the sake of order wasn’t satisfying. It was just… pointless.

Blowing into his mug of tea between taking impatient little sips, Hux walked over to the living room window and opened it wide, checking the sky. Ben would be somewhere above western Europe by now - god, he was going to be knackered after nine hour long flight but perhaps he wouldn't say no to a lazy picnic dinner outside. The weather looked fine - high opalescent-blue sky and gentle north wind bringing cool air down from the lake. Hux switched on the news channel and went about fixing his breakfast, one ear out for the weather forecast. 

Humming a little tune, he let the professional monotone of the news feed wash over him, not really paying attention to what the reporters said - until a couple of definite words caught up with him. For a single, stupid second he turned them over in his mind, wondering why they were important - and then it hit him like a punch to the gut.

_ “Lufthansa airlines…. Frankfurt… Philadelphia… it’s still not clear whether terrorism has caused the crash or not… _

_ “....there are no news of survivors of the crash. All 246 passengers and 7 crew members are feared to be amongst the fatalities of the worst air accident since March of 2015.” _


	2. Chapter 2

Everything always slowed down in the movies, long blurry shots with deep bass music and a close-up on something falling to the ground, shattering in pieces in slow motion. It wasn’t like that now. Instead of slowing down, the world had simply stopped.

Hux stared at the TV screen, his brain taking note of the information on autopilot. Location of the accident. Altitude from which the plane had plunged down in uncontrolled fall. Number and destination of the flight - oh, he knew those by heart. He had booked the tickets for Ben, after all.

The news feed switched on to another topic and faded into a daze together with the rest of the world. Hux moved to retrieve his phone from the charger where he’d put it after the long call last night. His hip connected with the edge of the table, hard, but the pain didn’t register.

Phone. He knew how nonsensical it was even as he punched in the short dial. Even if it wasn’t smashed to pieces during the crash, Ben would’ve turned it off upon boarding the plane...or not? Ever so forgetful - and if, if Ben was alive, he’d–

A memory floated up out of nowhere, sending shudders of cold through his body that already felt as if encased in ice. Years ago, while he was still a cadet in training, a train had derailed on the fast line near the campus and his unit had been dispatched to assist along with the National Guard. It was a field exercise that had the younger cadets scream out of their nightmares for weeks to come. Hux would always remember walking through the crash site that spread hundreds of yards down the sheer wooded slope, stumbling by the shaky light of his torch, shouting and listening for any sign of life - but the only sound he’d hear was the steady, desperate, hopeless ringing of the crash victims’ phones.

_ The number you are calling is currently unavailable. _

Didn’t have to mean anything. Hux forced himself to sit down and breathe a couple of times. Mechanically he unwound the charger cord from around his fingers. It tingled as blood came rushing back in but his fingers still felt numb.

He’d almost dropped the phone when it rang with incoming call. A surge of hope crushed so quickly his stomach nearly turned - it wasn’t Ben’s ringtone. For a moment, Hux squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to hear a professional, kind and compassionate  _ complete stranger _ informing him that Ben…

The caller’s ID was Rey’s grinning face. Hux remembered the occasion - Ben had taken the picture the last summer at the lake, catching Rey by surprise just as she stepped out of the car. He’d laughed at her and her scowl she put on as soon as she realised whose phone it was. Ben did that to replace the previous contact detail photo she herself had put into Hux’s phone some three years before - a very determined death glare.  _ You can’t go on hating him any more,  _ Ben had teased her,  _ he’s your family now. _

At first, all Hux could hear from the other end was something like sobbing - faint sniffing noises as if muffled into a sleeve. When Rey spoke, her voice was watery and raw and almost like she was ten again, bewildered, betrayed and angry on the soft green grass in the park where she’d dragged her brother to fight.

_ “Have you seen the news?” _

“Yes.”

It wasn’t that he couldn’t trust himself to say anything more. He had absolute trust in the control he had over himself. It was simply that he didn’t  _ have  _ anything to say. There was nothing inside of him.

_ “Really?”   _ Her voice broke into a high pitch at the end. Instantly incensed how Hux could be so calm, now. Before she could break, another voice came through.

_ “Give that to me, Rey.” _

_ “He’s–” _

Techie’s voice quivered a little - unused to assert himself but resolute all the same.  _ “I know. Give.” _

So clear, so insistent. At seventeen, already more adult than Hux was at that age.

_ “Armie. Say something.” _

Hux recognised the command in Techie’s tone - gentle but urgent nonetheless. Usually he was the one issuing it, countless times, calming down Techie from his panic attacks. Now the tables have turned.

The first thing on his mind is dreadfully difficult to say aloud. “Have you had any phone call?”

_ “Not yet.” _   The relief in Techie’s voice at hearing his brother speaking was overshadowed with worry.

They haven’t had a call. Ben parents haven’t yet been notified of his death, the list of victims must still have been incomplete - maybe they were still searching for survivors, maybe there were some who lived, transported for ICU–

_ “Armie.”   _ Techie was still talking, stopping only when he realised Hux wasn’t really listening.

Hux latched onto first question that would snatch him out of the loop of thoughts chasing their tails inside his head. “How is Leia and Han?”

For the first time, Techie seemed to hesitate.  _ “I think it’d be best if we came over,” _ he said.  _ “We could… wait together.” _

It made sense. “Okay.”

He imagined Techie on the other end of the line, nodding.  _ “Okay. We’ll be there. And Armie?”  _ Again, he slipped into that tone Hux knew so well - only until now he never heard it directed at himself.  _ “Hands.” _

Startling, Hux looked down at his free hand and willed his fingers to unclench. Too late. Already he was bleeding, tiny crescent wounds dug into the soft skin of his palm. He never noticed the sting.

The ride from the Solos house to Ben and Hux’s flat usually took about thirty minutes. Twenty if Rey was driving but Hux doubted Han would let her, the ink on her driving licence hasn’t dried yet.

Too restless to avoid the inevitable, he pulled up the airline website. A large banner with a toll-free number to the Family Information Center greeted him. Hux tried it. A pre-recorded voice informed him that the line was full and offered an address of the CARE center set up on Philadelphia airport where the family members could be briefed on the situation. Hux kept dialing the center number. It was futile. Even the website had crashed for a couple of minutes, the number of hits - from relatives, friends, media - being simply too much. But Hux kept on trying - even listening to that frustratingly polite automatic voice message on repeat was better than to stay alone with his own thoughts, to look around the flat and be faced with the terrifying vision of Ben never coming home.

The trill of the doorbell came like a temporary absolution. On his way to answer it, Hux caught a reflection of himself in the hallway mirror. He barely could recognise himself, and yet the image seemed vaguely familiar. Straight and composed, face staunch, eyes gleaming like cold steel, pupils dark and hollow like holes in the target at a fire range. No quivering lips, no flush on his cheeks, not a hair out of place. His father would be so proud of him.

The first thing he saw when he opened the door was Techie’s anxious face. “Oh, Armie–” and then he found himself enveloped in a hug, Techie clinging to him with fierce determination, as if he wanted to use his body warmth to cut through whatever shields Hux was building around himself. And maybe he was.

Rey had been crying, that much was obvious. She sucked in a sharp breath when she caught sight of his open hand, and sneaked a guilty look first at Techie, then at him, before reverting her gaze back to the floor with an inaudibly mouthed ‘sorry’.

“What are we going to do?” Techie asked, unsure, once they were all in the living room.

“Wait,” Han said glumly.

Hux shook his head at the same moment Rey said: “I can’t.”

“I couldn’t find any more info at the moment.” Hux sat down on the sofa, elbows propped on his knees, rubbing his temples. The bright daylight was sending sharp stabs of pain through his eyes. “They won’t make the list public until they’ve notified all relatives first–”

“He’s alive,” Leia said suddenly, quiet but resolute. Hux looked first at her, uncomprehending, then at Han. The old man just shrugged.

“A mother’s intuition.” It sounded gruff, as if he couldn’t quite shake off the doubt.

“Remember when Luke went missing in Nepal?” she insisted. “He turned up being just fine. I knew back then, and I know now. My son is alive.”

Hux remembered a day so many years ago when Techie met Leia for the first time and had almost believed her to be a witch. He swallowed against the sudden urge to giggle. It wouldn’t do to become hysterical, not now.

“I’ll drive to Philadelphia,” he said instead. “They’ll have more info.”

Techie nodded. “I’ll drive you.”

“Techie...”

“Armie, I’ll trust you to command a goddamned aircraft carrier on any given day. But today, I want you to trust me to drive a car. Okay?”

When exactly did Techie grow up so fast? Hux wanted to fight him but it would be like fighting a better version of himself. “Okay.”

“Armitage,” Leia stopped him just as he was grabbing his jacket and keys, “don’t you want to contact your family?”

She was meaning well, he could tell. He looked at Rey, hand in hand with Techie, at Han with worry lines around his eyes, at Leia with her strange unshakeable certainty that there was still hope.

“I already have,” he said, and carefully slid his phone into the inside breast pocket of his jacket.   


 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I briefly thought to up the rating for this chapter but in the end I think you'll manage with some hinted-at sex narrated mostly in flashback :)

They’ve all crammed themselves into Han’s old van, the Falcon. Despite the scratches and peeling paint job, its smoothly humming engine was a true testament to Han’s and Rey’s talents. Techie fitted behind the steering wheel as if he belonged there - it was indeed Han who gave the boy most of his driving lessons, Techie’s own father having too much other business elsewhere.

The highway rushed past the windows, past Hux’s unseeing eyes. He couldn’t believe what Leia had said. It would’ve been foolish to latch onto hope. But thinking about the alternative was impossible as well - Hux’s thoughts simply refused to take that direction, every time he as much as tried to imagine his life without Ben his brain stumbled to a halt. They’ve only been married a little over one year but had been together six years before that. Seven years might seem like an awful lot of time - Hux of seven years ago would certainly have thought that. That was before Ben.

_ I should have married you sooner _ , he thought to himself.  _ I thought, let’s take things slowly. I thought, this is something special. I thought we’d have all the time in the world. _

Even though he knew that he could never regret taking things slowly with Ben. Because Ben  _ was _ special. The first one who made Hux want to take his time with every little step.

It was one night, very early on. Hux had one of his rare days of leave. Ben and the KOR got a well-paid job in Atlanta, someone hired them to perform a dance number for a music video, and Hux had tagged along as a sort of assistant slash manager. At the end of the day, the pair of them ended up in a hotel room - a very nice suite.

Hux remembered the peach coloured sheets and how Ben looked spread on them, stark naked, flushed and beautiful. They had fooled around before - Hux thought fondly about the one time Ben talked him into climbing over the park gate in the middle of the night to have a picnic in the moonlight and then proceeded to blow him against a tree. Hidden in dancing half-shadows, the silver light catching in his eyes every time he looked up at him – Hux had to bite his own hand to keep from making noise, the danger of getting caught by the night guard intensifying everything Ben was making him feel. But this was the first time they had the comfort and the prospect of the whole night before them, and Hux was not going to waste the opportunity to find out how exactly could Ben make him feel, all the way through.

He was quite looking forward to it, too. He’d spent the whole day watching Ben’s body twist and flex in motion, imagining being pinned down by those big hands, having all that energy focused on himself. Except Ben had asked, between kisses and pulling off their clothes, “Could you, perhaps, do me?” and Hux couldn’t deny how much of a heady power rush that idea gave him.

In his previous - he wouldn’t call it relationships: one night stands and mutually beneficial arrangements, that’s what it was - he soon learned to prefer being on top. Bottoming felt good - too good, in fact, intensely so - but at the same time he couldn’t help the feeling that something was missing. He could never quite let go the way he felt he needed to, not with someone who’d scoff at him for having the pathetic need to cuddle afterwards. Staying in control was safer.

And Ben’s eagerness and willingness was surprising but also addictive. Hux couldn’t get enough of just looking at him, at the slack-jawed enjoyment written all over his face together with something he couldn’t quite name as Hux’s lubed fingers stroked him from the inside. Ben still couldn’t stop moving, always trying to pull Hux into one more kiss, gripping his free hand like a lifeline. He was flushed and sweating and looking so wrecked already from a couple of simple touches and so fucking tight – and Hux had kissed one faintly trembling knee and murmured “Been a while, hm?” while crooking his fingers just so and Ben gasped for breath and blurted out, “I’ve never done this before.”

Hux froze and Ben clamped a hand over his mouth, eyes squeezed shut. Shaking off the haze of lust from his eyes, Hux could finally see what that other emotion on Ben’s face was, all along: nervousness. Trepidation.

He pulled his fingers out a Ben whined in protest. Fuck, he’d been probably less gentle that he should have been. Not that he himself ever liked it rough - he just never was with anyone who’d care to be particularly gentle with him, either, and that suited him just fine in the past. Fleetingly, he tried to remember his own first time. He didn’t even know the name of the guy anymore, probably didn’t care to learn it in the first place. Back then, he’d seen it more like… checking an item off the list.

That was never going to be enough with Ben. Hux touched Ben’s hair, turned his head to look at his face. He knew Ben wasn’t like him, half-closeted because of the Army and with a string of one-night-stands under his belt. Ben had told Hux once that he didn’t get into a relationship if he didn’t want it to be serious, even though so far he hadn’t had much luck finding someone who’d want the same.

A strong wave of possessiveness, but also protectiveness washed over him. He had to do this right.

“Do you want to go on?” he whispered. Wondering at the novelty of it. Consent was always something to be taken for granted in the course of things, and he certainly didn’t mind before, but now he knew he had to ask. This was what people did when they cared, right?

To his horror, instead of nodding, Ben flinched. His whole body tried to curl up on himself, and several emotions too quick to identify passed over his face until it settled on something looking worryingly like determination. “Of course,” Ben said, but Hux could feel him twitching, as his body kept tensing and forcibly relaxing. Ben was taking deep breaths, and it hit Hux that he looked like someone on the verge of panic attack.

It was so fucked up. Ben very clearly didn’t want this. He was doing this just because… probably because he thought Hux wouldn’t want him otherwise. Because he knew Hux always had sex with past partners and would dump him if he– oh, shit.

The last thing Hux wanted was for Ben to feel he’d been coerced into anything. He started to pull away. Ben whimpered again and then sat up, disheveled and red-faced and with panic in his eyes he wasn’t even trying to hide. He grabbed Hux’s hand. “Wait.”

What Hux wanted to do was lock himself in the bathroom and beat himself up for a bit but for Ben’s sake, he waited. Ben wasn’t meeting his eyes but the grip on his hand was as desperate as before. That had to count for something, hadn’t it?

“We could… do other things. If you still want,” there was something attached to the last sentence that Ben swallowed too quickly.

If there was one thing Hux was sure of, it was that he’d always want anything with Ben. “Of course,” he soothed him. “Of course we can. I would never make you do something you didn’t want, I hope you know that.”

Ben gave a half-hearted laugh. “I wouldn’t force you into anything you didn’t like either.” It sounded so self-deprecating… Hux frowned.

“Ben,” he started carefully, “I was literally the one about to take something you thought you had to give and I just don’t want you to think you have to,” he tried to explain.

To his surprise, he was met with an equally bewildered face. “Um… I know I don’t have to… I just wanted to and I was hoping you’d… want it too?”

Something started to click together in Hux’s head. He scooted a little closer and, more calmly than he felt, he asked: “Tell me, honestly. Do you want this?”

“Of course I do,” and if it sounded a little too loud, now that Hux could finally read Ben better he noticed it wasn’t out of fear - Ben sounded as if the very notion he didn’t was ridiculous.

“Okay then,” Hux kissed him. “I promise I’ll make it good,” he whispered against Ben’s lips.

Again, that little self-deprecating laugh. “Here’s to hope one day I’ll be good for you, too,” Ben muttered and the last piece of puzzle in Hux’s head finally slotted into place.

Ben was ashamed. Ben thought Hux wouldn’t want him - he thought Hux  _ didn’t  _ want him because of his inexperience.

His next words were out faster than he could think them through. “Ben, you’re already the best I ever had.”

Ben snorted. “We hardly did anything, you don’t have to cod–”

“You took me with you to watch the shooting,” Hux said. “You held my hand at the afterparty. I’ve never done  _ those _ things before, you know.”

There were so many firsts a person could be to another. Ben was the first to trust him, first ti kiss him in public, first to wait for him when he needed to pursue his career, first to make him want to compromise. Hux had believed Ben would also be the last. Only seven years. It wasn’t fair.

“Armie,” a voice tore him out of his memories and he blinked, the blinding reflection of the sun against the glass-paneled airport terminal making his eyes water. “We’re here.”


	4. Chapter 4

They very nearly stumbled right into two of the Knights as soon as they walked through the revolving door. The boys looked about as lost as Hux felt. The younger of them - Riz - had been obviously cying on his way here, and Pete - Ben’s second in command - looked like death warmed over. Both must have been still jetlagged, having arrived only yesterday.

“We came as soon as we could,” Pete explained. “Manu’s at work, Mike went to see his folks today and I think the rest is still in bed. I left voicemails. God Hux, you look like shit. Do you want us to stay with you?”

He said this all with his chin hooked over Hux’s shoulder, his fierce hug punching the air out of Hux and leaving him speechless. Hux always knew how closely he’d integrated himself into their little group, how naturally they all came to rely on him - but feeling how much they also cared for him still came as a surprise. He knew all the Knights adored Rey - she was their number one fan since they started and back when she was still a schoolgirl, one or another of them had often driven her home from performance or even helped her with her homework. She was their little sunshine, as they liked to call her, the little sister of their boss. And now Hux realised that with marrying Ben, he’s also somehow acquired six fierce and over-protective younger brothers.

Still not quite knowing what to say, Hux was relieved to catch a sight of a CARE team member leading some other visibly distressed people into the secluded Family Information Centre. He nodded that way. “We should probably go in.”

 

*

 

Hux, normally, absolutely hated when people repeated questions. That’s why it came as a belated embarrassment some days later when he thought back on this moment and realised that the first thing out of his mouth was–

“What do you mean, the name’s not on the list.”

He was gripping the edge of the table so hard he could hear it creaking. He didn’t care. Somewhere behind her, he could hear Techie whispering: “Rey, for god’s sake, breathe.”

The tall woman opposite him - specially trained and competent to give bad news - momentarily looked at a loss for words. She was reading through the list on her tablet again, double checking, her schooled face breaking into disbelieving joy. She probably didn’t expect to find herself delivering  _ good _ news today.

“I can see the reservation in the system, yes. But his boarding pass hasn’t been scanned in. Mr. Solo-Hux hasn’t boarded the plane in Frankfurt.”

There were more details. More questions being asked and more people responding, sometimes at once. Hux couldn’t hear any of it. Ben hadn’t died. Ben was alive. Several moments later he became aware of Techie hanging off his one shoulder and Han leaning rather heavily on the other one. Even Leia’s eyes were wet, despite her assurance.

The realisation hit Hux like air after swimming up after a deep dive, breaking the water surface too quickly, the first gasp for breath harsh to his lungs and the daylight bursting bright around him, almost painful.

His fingers closed over his jacket pocket on their own accord, the shape of the casing so familiar it was like an instant comfort in his hand. He had tried to call Ben the first thing after hearing the news - and the number was unavailable. When he spoke, it was through a sheer miracle that his voice didn’t waver.

“Well… but where  _ is _ he then?”

Riz had his phone whipped out and was already dialling. “Fuck.”

Still unavailable, Hux concluded from the heartfelt curse. But not dead, he repeated it in his head like a mantra. Not lying amidst the plane wreckage, crushed by a broken metal into a muddy field. Perhaps he got mugged on his way to the airport. Perhaps he was in an accident - perhaps caused an accident, and was now arrested somewhere, waiting… as they were ushered back out, into the loud and crowded airport, Hux’s mind instantly began to spin with endless possibilities.

It hit him the next second that he could think again. It was like his brain got unfreezed after spending the ice age in hibernation. Ben was alive.

“He was staying in the same hotel for the last night, right?” Hux asked the Knights, just to be sure.

“Yeah.The one on Diesel-something-strasse you booked for us. Pretty decent.”

Hux was already pulling the Düsseldorftstrasse hotel website on his phone. The young reception lady’s English on the other end had the flat vowels and heavy w’s of an accent but otherwise it was spoken with practiced ease.

_ “Mr. Solo-Hux left today. Yes, we can ascertain he’s nowhere on the premises. He did not check out on the reception though. Some guests forget to do that. Naturally, we couldn’t return the deposit on his key card… A moment please, sir - I’ll ask the maid who did the room today… oh. So, one of our maids went up to ready the room for the next guest and it looks like your husband forgot to pack some things… there was a suit in the wardrobe and also his personal toiletries in the ensuite and… and some things in the bedside drawer, a phone charger and small change and– ” _

“Yes. Thank you. Yes, I’ll be most grateful if you could keep his things in storage for now. No. I’ll alert the police that if that’ll be necessary. Thanks again.”

Hux ended the call and raised his eyes to meet six bewildered faces. Where the fuck was Ben? Had someone kidnapped him?

 

* 

 

_ Several hours earlier _

Ben woke up slowly, groggily, stretching his body under the big fluffy quilt the Germans insisted to put on a bed instead of a proper couple of blankets. He hadn’t felt this warm and comfy in what felt like ages. His homesickness - more like intense feeling of missing Hux - was too bad to make something out of the few hours of rest he managed to snatch every night. The first two nights here he’d spent having a staring match with the ceiling before his body got used to the time zone difference - and then it had been always the annoying sound of his alarm waking him far too early to Ben’s liking. Ben hated being woken by the alarm. The jolt to wakefulness was always too quick, severing off his dreams and leaving him cold and shaking like a fish pulled out of water and dropped onto the shore.

It took Ben a good minute of lazy consciousness swimming between waking and dozing off when he realised why this morning’s waking up had felt so nice.

He hadn’t been woken by his alarm.

His eyes shot open and he scrambled for the radio clock on the bedside table. The daylight from the window reflected on the display, half obscuring the red digits but Ben could see the disaster all the same.

He had slept in. There was no way he was going to make it to the airport the required two hours before take-off. If he was lucky, he just might have made it before the gate would close.

Nearly falling off the bed in his haste, Ben pulled on the first pieces of clothing he could find - yesterday’s discarded ones - and dashed through the room, throwing his things haphazardly into the suitcase. Passport, boarding pass, his wallet. Shit, he wanted to do some gift shopping in the free morning hours he’d have, and now he even didn’t have time to shower. It was over six miles to the airport, he was going to need a taxi - Ben grabbed his phone to call one and swore loudly when the screen wouldn’t come to life. It never rained, it poured. The battery was totally dead. He dropped the useless thing into the suitcase and ran out of the room, down the stairs, through the lobby and into the street.

The commute was nerve-grating slow. It was noon, everyone was supposed to be at work or at school. The traffic peak time wouldn’t come for another three hours and the timetables were set accordingly. Drumming his fingers on the above head handrails, Ben tried to move the bus along with the sheer power of will, muttering curses under his breath at every red light. He had to wait over fifteen minutes for the CAT train at the interchange station and he was certain his frantic pacing, disheveled hair, day-old stubble and thunderous look made several elderly people consider calling the police. He tried to calm down but his blood pressure just wasn’t having it.

A snail-paced queue for the luggage check, then the security check with the infamous German thoroughness. What on earth were they doing with the little papers rubbed all over him? Ben nearly shouted when the alarm on the walk-through frame beeped, the lights going off around him like a Christmas tree.

“It’s just my wedding ring,” he pleaded but still he had to take it off and walk again. Normal gold bands apparently didn’t do that. It was just that Ben wanted to have his ring made of special titanium steel to remind him of the colour of Hux’s eyes and now has set off the alarm and the security’s suspicion. By the time they finished their unnecessarily thorough patting down of him, Ben was holding onto his last nerve by the skin of his teeth.

Crumpled boarding pass in hand, Ben raced through the corridors. Why did this airport have to be so stupidly big? When he finally spotted the right gate number, the only person there was a clerk clearing the terminal and shutting off the signs.

“I’m very sorry, sir, but the boarding was finished fifteen minutes ago. The plane has already taxied to the runway.”

Fifteen bloody minutes. Ben head was reeling and he sat down on the uncomfortable plastic seats, breathing hard. He was so fucked. For a moment, he had absolutely no idea what to do.

Well, there was nothing for it. Ben wiped the sweat from the back of his neck, attempted to comb his hair with his fingers and tried to think rationally. What would Hux do?

Go to the information desk and ask for the next flight. Of course. The airline connection operated daily. Ben did a little math in his head. It would still be dreadfully early in the States, Hux was probably still asleep. He had wanted to take a day off and he liked a good lie-in. There was no need to disturb him, and Ben didn’t feel much like calling Hux and face his annoyance and reproach right now anyway. He would arrange his next flight, buy the gifts he wanted to get for Hux and Rey and Techie, enjoy a bit of sightseeing now when he was stuck in Frankfurt after all, and he would call Hux from a phone booth or somewhere else later, before he’d be getting ready to drive out to meet Ben at the airport. Yes, that sounded like a good plan.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Ben was startled from his brooding by the sound of the floor polisher swerving into the now abandoned gate, the cleaning boy giving him a look somewhere between pity and schadenfreude. Ben got up. At least he no longer felt like spitting out his lungs with the next breath. The back of his neck was sticky with rapidly cooling sweat. He needed shower. He needed coffee.

His eyes caught on the wall clock. Half past one. It would be half past seven Hux’s time. He was most likely still asleep, he rarely got out of bed before nine on a day off. No need to wake him just to make him angry. Ben should better go and book a ticket for tomorrow first, just to have something in hand to prove he was not completely useless.

The lady at the Lufthansa counter was very understanding, even though she couldn’t do anything about the refund of Ben’s now useless ticket for today. At least there still were free seats on the tomorrow flight. Not the ones by the emergency exit where Ben would have had the opportunity to stretch out his legs a little - but then, beggars can’t be choosers.

Having tried to rush along every second for the past hour, Ben was now left with time to spare. A piece of silver lining: he could the gifts like he planned to yesterday. Coffee first, though, and a sandwich to go with it - his stomach was telling him in no uncertain terms what exactly it was thinking about shooting out of bed and chasing a plane without breakfast.

The shops at the airport were crowded, flashy and probably overpriced but still Ben managed to find something as a little Sorry for every person he was going to disappoint being late. A coffee mug with the VW minibus front and rear on it for Han - it looked funny, and Han used to drive that one around back in the seventies, or so he kept saying. A dose of chocolates for Leia - not because she’d particularly care for chocolate but because the tin dose was shaped like old milk can and she would love to keep it for dried fruit or herbs. Almond liquorice for Techie and marzipan balls for Rey… it was Hux’s gift he’d spent the longest time mulling over, nothing of the shinily packed variety catching his eye in the right way. Sweets or glassware was just ridiculous - but then Ben saw a chubby plane-shaped USB stick and grabbed it on a whim. It looked silly, like a charm keychain, but it was also useful - Ben imagined Hux’s raised eyebrows when he’d be presented with it and couldn’t suppress a giggle.

When he next caught a sight of a clock, he was startled to see how much time he’d spent wandering through the shops. He should really call Hux by now. Ben wasn’t looking forward to getting yelled at but there was nothing for it. Letting Hux needlessly drive out to meet him in Philly when Ben wasn’t going to be there would be much worse.

Patting his pockets for his phone, he remembered that he’d slipped it into his suitcase this morning after realising it was dead. Reclaiming an already checked-in luggage proved to be much longer process that the check-in - but at least his suitcase wasn’t on its merry way to Philadelphia like Ben feared it would. Taking out his phone and locating the nearest wall socket, he began to rummage his suitcase for the charger.

It wasn’t there. Ben sat down again. It never rained, right? He tried to remember where he’d put it last. The bedside drawer - of course. The flurry of the earlier packing replayed itself in front of Ben’s eyes and he groaned. During scouring the room for his things he’d completely missed the ensuite - well, buying a new toothbrush wasn’t such a bother but he’d also forgot to pack his only fine suit!

He’d worn it to the talks the day before - and then he actually remembered Hux’s words about always putting it on the coat hanger afterwards to smooth out the wrinkles, not just throwing it into the suitcase like Ben’s first instinct would have been. And now he was sans suit and Hux was going to kill him.

Also, the key card to his hotel room was still in his pocket, like a mockery. He’d also forgot to check out. Ben was almost sure that the hotel required the check-out before two pm on the departure day - that time had come and gone a good while ago. There went his deposit. The day couldn’t possibly get any worse, Ben thought as he got out of the airport and onto the train back to the hotel.

The traffic rush hour was in full swing. Ben crammed himself into the farthest corner from everyone and leaned his head against the window pane, closing his eyes. Despite the airport coffee, he was still feeling tired and sleepy. He should have just stayed at the airport hotel, damn the expenses for once. But he had to reclaim his suit. Hux would never forgive him if he didn’t.

It’s been some three years into their relationship when Hux got invited - though  _ ordered _ would be a better word - to one of those gala dinner parties held by one of the many charities that Brendol and his wife attended without actually contributing anything. As far as Ben understood, Maratelle Hux came from a politically influential family - just showing up on such event would be a boost to the cause, apparently. Presenting an up-and-coming officer and a successful scientist of a son was an opportunity Brendol didn’t want to go waste, especially when Techie would rather catch chickenpox again that to go and suffer through the dinner. The line on the invitation said ‘and plus one’ and Brendol obviously expected that Armitage would show up with some appropriately classy-looking woman on his arm. In a small and usually well-hidden corner of his heart where he’d stashed all his insecurities and buried memories of Han leaving every now and then, Ben half expected it too, as he took the invitation from their post and handed it to his boyfriend. Hux was a natural at socialising, well-mannered and self-assured - it was only logical he was going to ask someone from his own work circle to be his plus one, someone equally as smooth and good-looking as him. Ben braced himself for the disappointment.

What he got instead after Hux finished reading the invitation was a steel spark in Hux’s narrowed eyes, and a little smile playing around the corners of his mouth. Ben loved that smile. Hux only smiled like that when he was really looking forward to something - and that something usually involved someone else having a horrible, no good, very bad day.

“You have a three piece suit, right?” Hux asked, completely nonchalant.

“Um.” Ben swallowed, recalling the only suit he owned - a thing passed down to him from Mr. Bacca when Ben could no longer fit into Han’s old suit. This one was again just a bit on the too big side - but for visiting Rey’s school performance it served all right.

“Three piece, like, jacket, pants, and tie?”

Hux shot him a look. To Ben’s relief, there was no mockery or condescension - instead, something dangerously close to excitement. He looked like a bird of prey at the sight of a sweet, silly rabbit.

“We have a  _ long _ way to go,” Hux sing-songed. The words were laced with challenge.

It was, indeed, a very long way to go.

Hux had taken one look on Ben’s old suit and said: “Do yourself a favour and burn that thing.” Ben tried to explain him that finding a suit that would fit him off the rack was near impossible. Hux took a deep breath and replied, “Never again mention ‘fit’ and ‘off the rack’ in one sentence, please.” And then he’d literally dragged Ben - by the hand - into a men’s store. The shop clerks knew Hux by name. That should have been Ben’s warning.

“Sorry I can’t give you much choice in colour,” Hux said as he sorted through the displayed suits, rubbing the fabric between his fingers. The pieces didn’t have any price tags on them. It only added to Ben’s nervousness. “It’s got to be something that suits you but also something that matches with mine–” and suddenly Hux snapped out of his concentration to look up to Ben, biting his lower lip and looking momentarily like someone who’d lost their way on the cross-roads. “That is– if you want us to wear matching ones?”

The uncharacteristic anxiousness in his eyes told Ben better than any words that Hux’s question was not only about the suits. Not at all about them, in fact.

He squeezed his hand. “Of course I want that,” he said and lifted Hux’s hand to kiss his knuckles, grinning. “Do your worst.”

Nodding quickly, Hux turned back to the display but he didn’t let go of Ben’s hand. “This one,” he’d shown the head clerk, a woman in her fifties with a regal air around her. She gave Ben one appraising once-over and inclined her head.

“It’d need to be adjusted around the chest but it’s nothing we can’t manage in, say, two days time,” she said, taking out a little notebook from her pocket along with a tape measure. Hux plucked the latter from her fingers.

“I’ll take the measurements myself, thank you,” and off he steered Ben into the changing room.

By the time they emerged back, gone was Ben’s nervousness, though he still looked flustered. Never had he also regretted so much wearing skin tight jeans. And the worst thing was, Hux hadn’t even touched him below the waist - in fact he’d barely touched him anywhere while they were locked in the changing room. It was all innocent touches, light pat here to lift his arm, butterfly pressure to hold the tape close to his chest, fleeting caress to smooth out a lapel. But oh, the looks. Tripled by the various mirrors in the changing room, Hux kept looking at Ben as if he was something not merely edible but downright delicious. There was a glint in his eyes that was slowly stoking a fire in Ben’s gut and he didn’t even pay attention to the suit he was trying on - Hux’s hungry gaze was a better mirror than the polished glass in the room.

They were promised a delivery of the adjusted suit before the end of the week and headed home. Hux draped his hand over the small of Ben’s back, sneaking it under the hem of his jacket and just resting it there. Even through the fabric of his shirt, Ben’s skin felt like burning under the touch. The walk home never felt so long.

He’d pounced Hux as soon as the door closed behind them. If Hux had enjoyed riling him up - well, now he was about to get his payback. Ben had tackled him onto the bed, pinning his wrists next to his head - and Hux grinned, closing his eyes in blissful victory.

“You did that on purpose,” growled Ben, nipping along the line of Hux’s collar.

“Of course I did. I always get my way.”

Ben grinned into the soft, clean-smelling skin and worried it a bit with his teeth, just a little - Hux bruised so fast - but well above the collar edge. Beneath him, Hux arched and ground their hips together.

“Aren’t you afraid that one day you’ll get more than you bargained for?”

Hux laughed, still playful even as his breath was rapidly getting shorter. “With you?”

Ben paused - and Hux immediately sensed his tensing up. He looked up to him, a blue-green light in his eyes like a beacon, locking onto Ben’s and keeping him from looking away and burying his face in Hux’s shoulder. It was a question that demanded an answer, and Ben suddenly didn’t want to hide his insecurity any more.

“Maybe. Yes.”

Hux slid his arms from Ben’s slackened grip and wrapped them around Ben’s neck, pulling him close.

“Never afraid,” he whispered. “Counting on it.”

  
  


Ben was jostled out of his daydream by the tinny voice in the speakers announcing his stop. Hux didn’t have it easy with Ben - never did. But he was always one for a challenge. And this missing-a-plane mishap wasn’t even the worst that Ben had done. It wasn’t as if it was a matter of life and death.

Ben walked into the lobby, fidgeting with the key card. There was a little queue of people waiting for the clerk to tell them their room numbers - Ben stood awkwardly to the side and tried to best prepare his words, letting his eyes wander. There was a TV at the far end of the lobby, usually broadcasting soccer. Today it seemed to be set on a news channel.

A channel airing a reel of news coverage from a fatal plane crash. Ben caught the mention of the flight number and felt his heart drop through the bottom of his guts.

As if in a haze, Ben shouldered his way through the group of tourists, ignoring their protests. The only thought pounding in his brain was - Hux. What if Hux has seen the news. He didn’t even notice how the young lady’s eyes widened at the sight of him, how she opened her mouth to say something. He spoke right over her.

“Please. I need to make a phone call.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory chapter count bump up. The upcoming weekend is going to be quite busy so I am getting at least a short chapter out now and saving the Epilogue for the next.

Hux’s phone rang just when he was handing a plastic cup of vending machine coffee to Han, and in his first impulse to get it he nearly spilled it all over his father-in-law’s lap. The phone was rattling with the ringtone Hux had saved for unrecognised numbers and it took him an embarrassing extra second of staring at the screen to identify the code as a German one.

Police, informing him that–  _ stop that _ . Huz gritted his teeth and swiped his thumb to accept the call.

_ “‘Tidge? ’Tidge, it’s me, Ben. I am so sorry, I...” _

“ **_Ben!_ ** ”

Later, Hux would forever deny that he’d yelled the name. “You totally screamed it,” Rey would always say, and the first time Ben would attempt to make a joke about preferring to hear his name screamed in different circumstances which would earn him silent treatment for the rest of the day - a lesson that  _ some _ memories aren’t the best to be joked about. But in this moment, every other sound Hux could have made was completely drowned out in the cacophony that broke loose all around him - Han, Rey, and even Techie shouting and trying to get ahold of the phone. Leia alone kept her cool and commanded the rest to shut the fuck up and let Hux talk. Hearing the normally so collected and gentle lady swear snapped Hux out of his relief-stunned state and he gripped the phone harder, as if the gesture could make sure the electromagnetic signals connecting him to the sound of Ben’s voice wouldn’t get lost.

“ _ I… um. I’m sorry, I’m still in Frankfurt. I just saw the news - ah, have you– _ ”

“Yes.”

Hux could hear the swallow on the other side, a little distressed whine escaping before Ben burst into a ramble.

“ _ Oh, shit. I am so sorry. I slept in, and my phone was dead, and I misplaced the charger and I was late for the plane for just fifteen bloody minutes and then I thought, I’d tell you when you’d be awake, and I just came back to the hotel and saw the TV– _ ”

Halfway through the rant, Hux gave in to the insistent poking at his back (he’d suspected Rey) and put the call on loudspeaker.

“ _ –and - oh shit, Hux, I just realised, fuck, I think I gotta sit down... _ ”

“You just realised,” Hux repeated slowly, disbelief edging his tone into a giggle that was getting harder and harder to suppress. Ben only now realised  _ he could have been dead. _ Hux was sure that he was going to crack any moment now and let out the entire emotional strain of the past few hours in a fit of hysterical laughter.

“Fuck you, Ben!” Techie burst out instead, obviously deciding to take one for the Hux team and damn his cool. “Have you any idea how Armie, how we all were feeling?”

Rey tugged at his elbow before he could give Ben another piece of his mind. “Techie, love, I think he has.” She shot a look at Hux. “It’s after all just like the time a certain someone nearly got their head blasted off on Iraq roadside and didn’t report back home for a week.”

Hux blinked. He remembered - Techie writing him later how Ben was coping, but barely. How anyone could tell he’d been crying. The memory sobered him up a bit. Besides, Ben was talking again.

“ _ Fuck you, Rey, this isn’t the same, I know I fucked up okay? Shit, are Mom and Dad there too? _ ”

“And me and Pete, too,” Riz shouted to make sure he’d been heard. Both Knights were laughing. “Boss, you’re so screwed.”

“You’re not,” Hux put in before anyone could add anything more - he could already hear Ben sobbing a little, and despite the impulse to tear Ben a new one was pushing insistently at his mind, he set it aside for a while. Ben just technically survived his own death, he should be feeling happy, not heartbroken.

“Ben. It’s all right. You’re okay, that’s all that matters, okay? I am so glad you missed that plane. Never imagined myself congratulating you for being such a addle-headed slob but here we are,” Hux made sure the grin and tease in his voice was impossible to miss. It helped. On the other end, Ben giggled. Or maybe it was just a hiccup.

_ “The hell must be freezing over, ‘Tidge.” _

“I just wish you’d remember to keep your phone charged. It would save us so much trouble.”

“ _ Ummm...you know… it was the reason I slept in. The phone. I set my alarm on it, and then we spent last night talking, and I fell asleep without putting it in the charger and it must have gone dead during the night, and didn’t wake me up and I missed the plane... _ ”

Hux looked around at the six faces of his companions breaking into the biggest grins - he could  _ see _ the remark forming on Rey’s lips and spoke right over it. “I take it back. You’re officially allowed to forget the goddamn charger as often as you want.”

Ben was, finally, blessedly, laughing. “ _ I’ll hold you up to it, _ ” he teased. Then his tone dropped again, earnest. “ _ And I really am sorry. Even without a phone, I should have made sure you knew I was going to be delayed. _ ”

“Damm right!” Rey hollered. “And now get your sorry ass over here ASAP!”

“ _ I already booked a flight tomorrow... _ ”

Hux unceremoniously shooed the others away and, much to Rey’s pouting, they went. If he was going to have to wait another day to see his husband, he wanted to talk to him now as much as he could, in private.

“At least you got another day of leisure out of it,” he said with a forced smile. Making it sound as if it was something enviable. But Ben was having none of that.

“ _ I’d row over that fucking ocean in a boat if that was possible, _ ” he said. “ _ Baby, I’m gonna hate every minute keeping me away from you. _ ”

Hux couldn’t help it - he was smiling. Ben had this effect on him - he and his awkward, endearing, unapologetically cheesy lines. The fact that he meant them. That he knew they were cheesy and said them anyway because he knew Hux wouldn’t mock him.

“Hush. I hear Germany is a very beautiful country.”

“ _ They call this beautiful? Have they seen a single one of your eyelashes? _ ”

Hux groaned - it still came out as a laugh. “You’re horrible.”

“ _ You married me. _ ”

“God help me, I did.”

“ _ Remember how - oh, excuse me? _ ” Ben’s voice was suddenly blurred and indistinct, as if he was speaking with the phone held away from his head. “ _ Shit, sorry, ‘Tidge. The lady at the reception here demands the phone back. I need to get a room and– _ ”

“Just go already,” Hux laughed again. “Sort that out, get your things in order, charge that damn phone and call me later.”

 

 


	7. Epilogue

“Mr. Hux?”

There was a gentle hand on his shoulder, cautiously trying to jostle him awake.

“It’s Solo-Hux, actually,” he mumbled out of habit, not quite realising he said it aloud until he heard a little chuckle.

“Apologies, Mr. Solo-Hux. You need to wake up.”

Hux stifled a groan and forced his eyes open. The CARE team lady from yesterday was smiling down on him. He scrambled to sitting, wincing at the sharp shot of pain through his lower back, and made a quick work of folding the borrowed blanket and handing it to her. Then he spotted the paper cup full of steaming black coffee and the prepared words of thanks died on his tongue, put to shame with their insufficiency.

“You’re an angel,” he recovered his wits at last.

“It’s my job.” She was still smiling, a little wistfully now. “One part of it that I actually enjoy.”

She left him to his airport coffee and the cringing pain in his back and shoulders. The liquid was more hot than it was black but at least it was enough to get him online. Hux wriggled his sock-clad toes on the tiled floor and rubbed at his sleep-sticky eyes, taking a slow look around.

The airport around him was coming to life. Shop clerks putting out the signs, the smell of freshly warmed up pastry laden onto the shelves in the cafeteria, the cleaning staff dragging their trolleys towards the restrooms. Behind the glass-paneled wall of the terminal, the sun had just rolled above the horizon, the tarmac basking in its warm, orange glow.

Hux had refused to leave the airport yesterday. After that first phone call, they waited around a while - Pete and Riz disappearing god knows where to one moment and coming back with duty-free bottles of craft beer, “to celebrate”, they’d said, and Han certainly didn’t say no to that. Techie, though, maintained his decision to drive and Hux didn’t feel like he could stomach any drink right then. Rey and Leia were busy herding them all outside when the next flurry of texts came - and in the following hour, Hux had felt as if his stomach was practicing flip-flops enough times to compete at the Olympics.

 _Don’t kill me,_ was the first, which was a hugely disquieting way to start. _Remember how I said I had a flight booked for tomorrow,_ was the next. Hux somehow knew before he even opened the third one, and a quick look at the flight timetable in the centre of the terminal confirmed his suspicions. All Lufthansa operated flights had been cancelled until they could rule out technical system defect as a possible cause of the last crash.

Apparently, by the time Ben had realised this, all the remaining seats on the States-bound flights operated by other companies were already hopelessly sold out - there wasn’t a seat available at least for a week.

Hux’s first impulse was to get a ticket for himself and fly over, expenses be damned. But then Han had pulled out his phone and wandered off. They could hear him laughing and when he came back, he flashed them all a cocky little smirk.

“My old business partner Lando.” Hux could have sworn he’d caught Leia muttering ‘business my ass’. “Runs a little cargo airline over in Europe, the Bespin Air. And I had a favour or two to call in. Ben will be here first thing tomorrow morning.”

After that, Hux just refused to leave. Leia tried to convince him to come home with them, Techie and Rey tried to physically drag him out, but he didn’t budge. “Driving three hours home only to get up at what, two am, and driving another three hours back here? Doesn’t make much sense,” he’d said, as if sleeping sprawled over three hard plastic seats in the Arrivals terminal with his shoes for a pillow was any more reasonable. But it was exactly what he did.

His phone beeped. A red rose emoji. Ben was really horrible and Hux couldn’t help a little laugh. He hadn’t seen the plane land - but then, the airport was huge. Ben and – whoever that Lando guy was – still had to go through the checkout. Another plane had landed recently and people were filing out of the baggage reclaim and into the Arrivals terminal, small sleepy groups and the staccato sound of suitcase rollers on the hard-tiled floor.

And then Hux caught a sight of familiar mop of dark hair sticking above the little crowd, Ben stretching his back, shirt wrinkled, eyes a bit puffy with the long hours of flight. Hux put his half-empty coffee cup onto the floor and bolted to run.

A year and a half ago, he’d been in this exact place but the situation had been reversed. He’d been the one coming home that time, longing for rest and comfort. Longing to jump and wrap himself around his loved one and forget about the rest of the world, even for just a moment.

Well, he could now, couldn’t he? There was no uniform keeping him in check now. Ben had barely time to spot him - Hux saw the smile lighting up on his face, and the reflexive opening of his arms - and then he saw nothing more, just felt. Ben’s hair under his palms, Ben’s strong body leaning back to balance out their combined weight, the scratch of stubble on Ben’s jaw and the taste of cold morning air on his chapped lips.

 

 

“Babe,” Ben murmured when Hux finally, reluctantly, slid back down to stand on the floor. Still holding onto each other like onto a talisman. Ben pressed their foreheads together and giggled. “Babe, you aren’t wearing any shoes.”

“Why–” a kiss, “–should I–”, another, “–care about–” and another, “–bloody shoes–” and this time he missed, the kiss landing on Ben’s chin because Ben was laughing, and then Hux was laughing too. God, it felt _so good_ , just to be able to laugh in his husband’s arms.

 

*

 

Ben had slept during most of the ride home. Apparently Mr. Calrissian’s beloved _Cloud Lady_ wasn’t primarily made to carry passengers, only cargo, and Ben was too wound up with worry at his welcome to sleep. Hux drove the rental car, listening to the other man recounting of some of his older adventures. This old business pal of Han Solo had known Ben when he was just a little boy - and knew a couple of stories Hux was actually glad Ben was asleep otherwise he’d never allowed to ‘Uncle Lando’ tattling them out to Hux.

“You’re an amazing audience,” Mr. Calrissian praised him. “Not like your husband here. I swear if I heard one more of “Hux this, Hux that” during the flight I was going to throw him out and into the Atlantic.”

“Ever been married yourself?”

“Pah, four times and counting. But my only real love was the skies - that’s why the wives kept leaving, usually.”

Back on their street - the sight of it almost seemed new to Hux, all of a sudden - Ben yawning and stretching, patting his pockets for the keys – when Mr. Calrissian grabbed Hux’s elbow and pulled him down, leaning out of the car’s window to speak directly into his ear.

“Don’t give him too much of a hard time over that,” he murmured, nodding his head in Ben’s direction. “I was joking with the ‘Hux this, Hux that’ nonsense. Poor lad was terrified the whole flight that he’d disappointed you.”

“He’s back, that’s all that matters,” Hux said simply. _He’s alive. How could that ever be disappointing?_

“That’s the spirit,” Lando Calrissian grinned and drove off. Ben was already hauling his suitcase up the stairs to their flat. Hux took a deep breath and followed him.

Ben was home. So why did Hux feel like breaking all over again? Was it because he finally could? There was nobody to keep his composure for anymore, nobody but Ben. Ben was in for better and for worse. Hux blinked over the tears gathering in his eyes and nearly smashed his face into the bathroom doorframe when he tripped over Ben’s discarded shoe in the hallway. As usual, Ben had left his shoes right where they fell of his big stupid feet. Like he always, always did.

Hux stared at the shoes, remembering the skin-crawling feeling of _wrongness_ of the spotless, meticulously ordered hallway just the morning before. Was it really only a single one day ago? Something about his frozen stare must have caught Ben’s attention because in a second, Ben was on his knees, putting the shoes away and nattering “There, see, I’ve got it, please don’t kill me, remember you love me.” A light tone that could’ve fooled anyone but Hux. A joke on Ben’s lips but a weight of guilt in his lowered eyes.

 _He knows, right?_ Hux wondered, in the delayed shock-slow way his brain was working now. _I married him, of course he must know I love him._ Hux had gotten so much better at saying that over the years. And yet, the thought that Ben could have died without hearing it any more time was suddenly unbearable.

“Trust me, I’m never gonna forget that,” he managed at last. His voice sounded odd even to his own ears. Ben took one look at him, dropped the shoes and surged up to sweep Hux into his arms.

“I know, I know,” he kept whispering, soothing and warm and _just there_ where Hux needed him. “And even if I never heard it again I’d still know.”

Crying felt never more like something that Hux absolutely needed to do, right in that moment. Ben held him through it. It was all right. They were home.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Airport reunion](https://sinningsquire.tumblr.com/post/159195732056/a-little-gift-for-all-the-people-who-keep) by @sinningsquire :) 
> 
> Make us happy and if you enjoyed this fic, reblog that picture:)
> 
> And another beautiful piece of art for this fic by the unmistakable [@flurgburgler](http://flurgburgler.tumblr.com/), thank you so much!


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